No Reins..

The following is a song by the country group, Rascal Flatts. If there is any words that could describe where I am at in life right now I would choose these.

She left that loser in a dust cloud Heart in his hand,
chin on the ground Cried her last tear for that clown
She can see a little clearer now
She said, "Oh, oh, I gotta go and find me"
Oh, oh she found the strength to break free
Like a painted wild mustang
Flyin' out across the open range
Finally gets to live her life that way
No fear, no fences, nobody-no reins No reins
All she's ever felt is held back
She says, "It's kinda nice to hear myself laugh"
She's gonna do a lot more of that
She's makin' plans and makin' tracks
She said, "Oh, oh I gotta go and find me"
Oh, oh she found the strength to break free
Oh, oh she's learnin' how to let go
Oh, oh whichever way the wind blows
Oh, oh she's learnin' how to let go No reins

It's actually a little bit ironic, being that I have a deep fear of horses. The fact that they are so strong, and free and seemingly uncontrollable. But this song, is exactly where I am at. Facing those fears....First, I have to say that in no way am I calling my last boyfriend a looser or a clown. That was an amazing three years in which I learned so much! A true blessing. This is just the first time I have been single since my sophomore year of high school and it is just a brand new experience and I feel like there is so much to learn!

It's time for me to let go, with no fences, no fear, no reins. Time to laugh, time to just be. If I could learn one thing in my life right now it would definitely have to be that.... learn how to be... to wake up every day and realize its splendor. Live each moment for what it is. To learn that plans are ok but they cannot control my life. Like tonight, after a good conversation with my mom, my mind was spinning a little bit. Re thinking everything that we had talked about and then I came around the corner driving up the mountain.. and I saw the moon. Half crescent, a light orange brown color, glowing perfectly in a black sky. I realized, that at this moment the only thing that really mattered was that moon. I was there in my car, the sky black, the moon shining, the lights twinkling below. That is where I am at. This moment is here and now... all my thoughts left and I was just there. Enjoying it. Soaking in the view. Being. Sometimes I just have to remember that there are things I cannot change.. thinking and re thinking it is not going to change the facts. I don't want to miss out on the small things. The beautiful things. The things that make me laugh. Laughing is a beautiful thing.