Today, a day of awakening. It never gets easier learning how to cope with people letting you down or disappointing you. It is never easy when you come to realize that you have let yourself down. I remember about four years ago... my senior year of high school. There was a beautiful longing in my heart, this longing feels so far away now. Beckoning in the very depths of my soul.... I was in a government class. My teacher, he was no ordinary man. This man changed my life and my perspective on the world. Everything that I took from that class was not written in a text book. He challenged us to think, to look at the world around us, and to do something. Beginning about that year my heart began to burn for the orphans in Africa.... it burned to helped those victimized by the ruthless virus HIV/AIDS. My heart felt the pain of these people. That year I organized a fundraiser in our classroom... every one was challenged to give just one quarter a day for 33 days. We raised over $400.00. That year for Christmas we bought 5 Rabbits, 6 Ducks, School supplies, food for two villages for a month, and a few other things through World Vision. One quarter a day from several students for a month and we changed lives..... That day that I purchased all of those items it hit me that one person can make a difference. Whether it be in one life, two lives, a village, a city.... the world. It makes no difference. That year gave birth to a new side of me. I like to call it my "Rock'N'Girl", cause an old friend of mine showed me this song that had that name in it. That year represented a very crucial time in my life. A time where my dreams and passions lead my life. That year showed me that all the desires in my heart... all my passions, loves, and hopes of the future were very tangible. All that I was made to be was found in that time. Unfortunately.... or not I lost that girl. With four years passing those dreams and desires slowly began to fade away. Busy with work, school, and other things just trying to stay ahead in this independent life. Making choices to serve myself before others... looking for answers and searching in all the wrong places. But then last night came. I was able to remember that girl. The girl who used to sit in her room and dream about making a difference. I found those passions again. With a little bit of a new perspective and new life experiences with a little bit more wisdom. My heart feels alive again. Feels like I have found purpose and a mission to accomplish. This is an exciting time of life and I am ready to face the dragons again. I don't see it as any time lost just time of growth and a time to build some character. My friends always quotes this to me, "You are only as strong as your weakest moments" I have hit those moments... of complete weakness, vulnerability, and moments of little faith. I saw the person that I was and now its time to take a stand. I could sit around and let other people write the story of my life or I could grab the pen and start writing it. Make good choices, wise choices, and change one life at a time. Starting with my own! Praise the Lord for his unchanging love and his unending forgiveness!!! ". . and it is one of the bitter anxieties of the thinker to see the shadow over the human soul, and to feel progress asleep in the darkness, without being able to waken it."
Jean Valjean
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- Jules
- Just an average girl living the life with the man of my dreams! We hope to document our travels and adventures in order to keep loved ones far and near up to date!
Two CS Lewis quotes that make me think of you.
ReplyDeleteIt may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.
So I guess you are a baby bird who made a U-turn?
I do not mourn the loss of the Rock'N'Girl--although that was the girl I first loved. I love the girl with a truck for a man and plans that barely see past tomorrow, who knows only that she is redeemed, for better and for worse, who is moving forward into the unknown.