If I could find any words to describe the past three weeks of my life they would probably have to be INSANITY and CRAZINESS. And I really do mean both of those words in the best possible way. I am sitting right now on the chair, at the kitchen counter, in my kitchen, of my new house and I am in a state of shock. Pretty much everything in my life has done a complete and entire U-Turn in the past few weeks. My plans to move to San Diego turned into Riverside; moving in a month or two turned into moving now; bitterness, loneliness, and frustration transformed into hope, love and redemption; going out and raising havoc has become College group on Tuesdays and church on Sundays. My boyfriend is no longer my truck... but an incredible man who is choosing to walk this road with me. And this is just to name a few of the changes. I don't really even think there are words to describe it. To those who have been around me lately I try to explain it like this.. it's like one day I woke up in the morning and I saw a door. I opened that door and I stepped into my life. Everyone else was already there, already seeing all the things that I can do and the woman that I am... the only thing that was missing was me. So as I step through that door all that I am and want to be is just already there. And the only person in shock is me, It's like everyone already knew. I don't know if that really makes sense... but it is the only way I can think to describe all that is going on.
All I can really take hold of right now is that... I am home. Whether or not I feel like doing things, whether the steps ahead of me are short or long, no matter what the road looks like... I am here. I am choosing to make good decisions because I don't have to let the past be my future, even if it makes no sense or if it is uncomfortable or its not fun... this is the road I am on. The journey will be long, tiresome, hard, and at times scary....
But for right now I am home... and this is a safe place.
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