Actions speak Louder than words...

It's 11:30 pm, I am sitting in the comfort of my little winter wonderland of an apartment, sitting on my couch staring at my newly decorated Christmas tree. It's amazing, the lights... perfectly decorated. Maybe because I am neurotic... or whatever but it only has two different color balls.. red and gold. Evenly spaced, with little sprits of holly perfectly set into place. I know this kind of tree will only last til the day I have children and they bring home all different decorations with different shapes, sizes and colors placed frantically all over the tree in no order. But until that day... I am very much enjoying my "Type A" perfectly fit tree.

This has quite possibly been one of the strangest, random... most amazing weeks of my life. Let me try to explain. For most of my childhood and continuing on to young adulthood I have proclaimed myself a Christian, or someone who believes in Jesus Christ. It's been a process, a journey, mountains have been climbed, valleys have been walked through. I have been to the highest peaks and to the bottom of the ocean on this journey. To be quite honest I am pretty sure the past four or five years have been spent running. Running from my convictions, running from the desires of my heart, running from my Maker. Everytime I have felt a pinch, a tug, or a pull it gives me every more reason to run harder. I can look over past journal entries, or emails sent and find a sense of sorrow and regret. Desiring to make a change, to stop running, to face my fears head on... yet there was nothing there except for words. I have probably used up all the words in the world, yet never having any action to follow up with the words. These past couple months I again have been feeling a tug and a pull... my heart has been longing for home. I have been more than frustrated trying to figure out a way to get there. There were moments of hopelessness, anger, and mostly just a lot of times feeling so completely lost!!! Over the past weeks there have been many doors shutting, seasons closing, chapters ending. It's times like these where I really start to wonder what is coming next.

This week, I am taking a stand. My actions will be in line with my convictions and there are going to be a lot of changes coming soon!! Can't wait to share but that will just have to wait a lil bit!! I am thankful for the hard seasons, and also for the good seasons. I am overwhelmed by how much has changed and grown in my heart and life over the past few years. I am truly blessed.

On the lighter note, work has been great but exhausting lately. I am happy to say that a lot of the issues that I was struggling with have been worked through. It has been a huge weight lifted off my shoulder and makes the work environment a little bit easier. I am very excited for my upcoming days off on Sat. and Sun! Just hopin that my body makes it until then.